Joshua P. Simon - The Accidental Author

Things observed from my most recent trip to see family in Louisiana.

- There is no greater invention than a portable DVD player when traveling with young kids. They still might be loud and whiny at times but the difference in their behavior is like night and day when they can watch cartoons rather than the back of your seat for 9 hours in the car.

- It is just about impossible to get any writing or other work done in a hotel after the kids go down because any time the air shuts off a tap of the keys sounds like Fred Astaire dancing on hardwood. Definitely need to bring a floor fan next time around to keep the white noise going.

That was a pretty frustrating part of the journey (a lack of “work” done in the 1.5-2 hours I had between the kids bedtime and mine).

- Hampton Inn breakfast is a lifesaver in the early morning with two kids who wake up famished each day. Daddy probably looked like a fool groggily loading up 3-4 plates of food, stacked on top of each other and then balancing them on his way back to the room.

- Even kids get tired of fast food after eating a lot of it over the course of a week.

- As nasty as fast food and gas station bathrooms can be for adults, it is ten times worse with a potty-trained young kid. I said “Don’t touch anything” probably a thousand times during each bathroom break only to then have my son touch something anyway out of spite while wearing a big grin on his face.

- 3.5 years old must be the most inquisitive time in a child’s life. Why, What, or How precedes every sentence out of my son’s mouth, whether it makes sense to or not. This is somehow worse when around family he rarely sees.

- Watching your kids dance at weddings with the same lack of caring what other people think of them like you once had is pretty awesome.

- Also, having kids allows you to dance with them with renewed confidence since you are now doing it “for the kids” and it’s ok to be a fool once again.

- Actual conversation at my parent’s house.
Son: “Daddy, can I have ____?”
Me: “No. Not right now.” I go to the kitchen while my son stays in the living room with his grandfather.
Son: “Pappy, can I have ___?”
Pappy (my dad): “Your daddy said no.”
Son: “Yes, but daddy’s not looking right now.”

That’s my boy.