Joshua P. Simon - The Accidental Author

There have been a lot of infommercials lately for DVD collections of the Carol Burnett Show. I’ve actually stopped the channel flipping to watch them as it brought back memories of enjoying the reruns with my mom when my sister and I were kids.

This in turn led to me and Leah to watching clips on YouTube.

The Elephant Story is probably one of the most famous skits. As hilarious as the original story is, the outtakes here are even better.


Here are a couple more:

Anything with “Mrs Wiggins” is gold.


The Dentist

Things observed from my most recent trip to see family in Louisiana.

- There is no greater invention than a portable DVD player when traveling with young kids. They still might be loud and whiny at times but the difference in their behavior is like night and day when they can watch cartoons rather than the back of your seat for 9 hours in the car.

- It is just about impossible to get any writing or other work done in a hotel after the kids go down because any time the air shuts off a tap of the keys sounds like Fred Astaire dancing on hardwood. Definitely need to bring a floor fan next time around to keep the white noise going.

That was a pretty frustrating part of the journey (a lack of “work” done in the 1.5-2 hours I had between the kids bedtime and mine).

- Hampton Inn breakfast is a lifesaver in the early morning with two kids who wake up famished each day. Daddy probably looked like a fool groggily loading up 3-4 plates of food, stacked on top of each other and then balancing them on his way back to the room.

- Even kids get tired of fast food after eating a lot of it over the course of a week.

- As nasty as fast food and gas station bathrooms can be for adults, it is ten times worse with a potty-trained young kid. I said “Don’t touch anything” probably a thousand times during each bathroom break only to then have my son touch something anyway out of spite while wearing a big grin on his face.

- 3.5 years old must be the most inquisitive time in a child’s life. Why, What, or How precedes every sentence out of my son’s mouth, whether it makes sense to or not. This is somehow worse when around family he rarely sees.

- Watching your kids dance at weddings with the same lack of caring what other people think of them like you once had is pretty awesome.

- Also, having kids allows you to dance with them with renewed confidence since you are now doing it “for the kids” and it’s ok to be a fool once again.

- Actual conversation at my parent’s house.
Son: “Daddy, can I have ____?”
Me: “No. Not right now.” I go to the kitchen while my son stays in the living room with his grandfather.
Son: “Pappy, can I have ___?”
Pappy (my dad): “Your daddy said no.”
Son: “Yes, but daddy’s not looking right now.”

That’s my boy.

A little something I came up with on how Crohn's Disease sufferers spend their time. I think it fairly represents my life, at least. How about yours?

	In the bathroom.
	Looking for or running to a bathroom.
	Planning their day around bathroom locations.
	Thinking of excuses to explain a lack of spontaneity rather than bringing up their ailments.
	Wishing they could eat something they shouldn't.
	Regretting they ate that something anyway.
	Wondering how much simpler life would be without Crohn's.
	Everything else.

After a long, tiring, stress-filled week, I need something to laugh at. So behold, The Swedish Chef!

My wife and I were watching these with our kids the other day, cracking up more than they were. Oddly enough, my 14 month old was more into the videos (giggling a good bit), than my 3 year old who mostly asked A LOT of questions. “What is he saying? “What is he doing?” “Why is he shaking that tree?”

Those with kids know what I’m talking about.





twh the

The first time my wife and I met (we talked long distance on the phone and emailed for months before our first date) we ended up having a Fawlty Towers marathon. I had never seen the show, but Leah knew it well and loved it. She and I have always shared similar tastes so I was game.

My jaw and cheeks hurt by the time we were done from laughing. The dialogue is super sarcastic and quick witted while the physical comedy is top notch. In many ways, it’s a perfect show. That’s probably why despite being over 30 years old, it is still voted as the best comedy ever on television in the UK where it originated. I would agree and extend that to the US as well.

My wife and I have watched the episodes several times since and are currently doing so again (thus prompting this post).

I’ve attached some videos of my favorite scenes and had to force myself to stop at four because I realized that there is rarely a dull moment in any episode and my favorites are too many to list.

Do yourself a favor and get the DVDs.