Joshua P. Simon - The Accidental Author

Each year, Leah and I make at least two trips to see my family in Louisiana. For now, this constitutes our family vacations. The trips were pretty easy on us before we had our kids. They got a little tricky when our son was born, but overall he traveled well. With the addition of our baby daughter, we didn’t know what to expect. I take that back. We expected the worst, especially since we also tacked on a trip to Texas to see my wife’s family and attend her sister’s wedding.

Fortunately, they surprised us and we had a great time with only a few hiccups. Most of those hiccups revolved around the area we were most concerned about, sleeping. Our son is a little over two and a half and our daughter is eight months. So, sharing a hotel room and riding in a car together meant that they often woke each other up. Any parent knows that a tired kid is a cranky kid.

Even still, when you consider we drove 2300 miles, going from Georgia to Louisiana, then to Texas, and back to Georgia, a few hiccups isn’t too bad.

The biggest downside to this trip, as any other that we make, is that it felt too short and at times a bit rushed. Of course, most trips feel that way, especially when family is involved.

The trip had several upsides. For instance, our daughter started army crawling and her personality (which is constantly developing) made huge leaps. Our son is at the age where it seems like each day he says/does something that either blows you away, cracks you up, or both. He had several gems during the trip, but below was my favorite.

Here’s the setup: we eat fast food once or twice a month, at most. However, we ate a lot of it while traveling like most others do. Anyway, we stopped off in Vicksburg, MS on the way home. After checking into a hotel for the night, my son and I went to grab a few things from the store and also pick up dinner. I decided to get Popeye’s to break up the monotony of hamburgers and fries. As I’m pulling into the drive-through lane, this is what I hear:

Him: Daddy, I need a Number 1 with no coke.
Me: Blinks and shakes head. What?
Him: I NEED a Number 1 with no coke.
Me: Laughing uncontrollably and thankful that no one was behind me as I had to stop short of the drive-through speaker.
Him: In a very serious voice. Daddy, go talk to the man and tell him I need a Number 1 with no coke.
Me: I pull up to the speaker and place the order which was a family meal.
Him: Yelling over me while I’m talking to the guy. NO Daddy! A Number 1, no coke.
Me: It’s ok. The things in a Number 1 are part of the family meal.
Him: After a long pause. Ok, Daddy.

First, I think the exchange is hilarious, but more so when you consider the facts. Neither Leah nor I ever order a Number 1 off a menu. That means he had to pick the number himself. Second, we always drink a coke or something similar. However, we don’t let him because of his age. Therefore, he reasoned that out in his head and made sure to specify ‘no coke.’

Good Times.